Dodging the Abyss

Off in the distance, the first familiar sign of the approaching wall of darkness appears. In the beginning, it is more of a perception, a sort of intuition that comes from repeating the experience many times. I can just about sense its stealthy approach.

I’m on hightened awareness now, knowing that the time from that first feeling to the complete darkness could be days or it could be hours. Once the darkness takes over, then it begins. Having to continue, finding my way through the veil of darkness, pretending all is well and normal. All the while trying desperately to avoid the abyss that is poised, ready to swallow me up at the first misstep.

Of course, I am alone in this dark world. All around me, life goes on in sunshine and normalcy. The abyss has no interest in them. It is only me that it awaits. It’s trap is lain for me alone.

In the early days, when my life was filled with innocence and naivete, it wasn’t a trap waiting unseen, but rather a seduction. A promise of an existence without pain or struggle. An end to unhappiness and a quieting of the demons. The promised escape was nearly irresistible, but in the end I held back. Now it knows that it cannot use such simple trickery. Now it must enlist the darkness.

It will be here soon.